Presentation Summary

A prim is a leader, above she and he will have an influence on so many that will always be part of their lives. To be a serving leader and mentor is the greatest gift to give.

We live in the most challenging times ever, we are now in the heart of the fourth revolution where machines and robots are taking over.

Winners will be those that can act humanly, listen with an open mind and heart, talk less and listen more and shoulder to cry on.


1 Conflict
We are different, our personalities, culture, gender and generation. It leads to conflict over and over. Blaming others, meeting halfway, smouldering revenge.
A great rule is when attacked and the other person is simply terrible, just ignore as “Om te ignoreer is die beste geweer!”

Conflict can be the greatest way when one + one = ten.

Rather listen, write down, “What happened”, “How do you feel about it?”, “What can we jointly do about it and how?”
  • We all have the same basic needs:
  • Do not want to be hurt.
  • Be part of a group.
  • Be worth something.
  • Please care for me?
  • Believe in a higher power.
  • Brag a bit.
  • Bored and want fun.
  • Afraid and seeks resolve.
  • Want fun and laughter.
Give this to others and they will adore us!
Delay judgement of others and especially judging ourselves.

2 Culture
Culture differences are complex and lead to conflict. Culture begins and ends in language. Learn bits of another language use it and everything will be different.
English is used up to eighty percent in the world that flies in the air. Out here Xhosa and Afrikaans and the languages of the heart. Use it accordingly!
It is not the one or the other, it is by using all three in the right situation.
(With many thanks to Yongama Skweyiya, another Huis Marais inhabitant!)

Dankie – “enkosi”, Baie dankie – “enkosi kakhulu”

Ek waardeer dit – “ndiyabulela”

Xhosa het nie ‘n woord vir "asseblief" nie, ons gebruik meestal ‘n tipe van gesegte om dit aan te dui; dus is asseblief – “ndiyacela” wat ook as “ek vra mooi” kan vertaal word.

Nog asseblief – “ndiphinde”

Ekskuus– “uxolo”

Skuif op – “bekela”

Hello – “Molo” vir enkel en   “Molweni” vir meervoud

How are you? – “kunjani”  vir enkel en  “Ninjani” vir meervoud

Mooi loop – “hamba kahle”, Mooi bly - "“sala-kahle”

The most critical words are, “Obrigado”, “Mercie”, “Velen dank”, “Enkosi” and “Baie dankie!” Use it!


3 Ethics
We live is a world of cheating and undermining. Let us all be different from this. Some guidelines.  (Recognition to Hanno Olinger.)
  • Respect, do to others what you expect from them.
  • Is it legal what we are doing?
  • Is it a shoosher? Nobody should know about it!
  • Does it infringe my duties and do I doing this avoid responsibilities?
  • Most important of it all, what would my mom say if she hears about this?

4 When we meet up

More in the downloadable book, Replay.
To put the facts on the table, argue about it and then vote is simply stupid.
Put all facts on the table without any judgement. Shuffle around and sees what comes out, then jointly judge it and refine and create a solution. NEVER EVER VOTE!

In our meetings we will have baddies. Put this on the wall and let all know that this is bad behaviour:

The griper, al knowing expert, eager beaver, hijacker, joker, referee, rival, show off, shy violet, silent critic, Speedy Gonzales, troubler, whisperer, woolly thinker and the yawner.

Use CPS, creative problem solving:
  • Who are we? Meet and laugh
  • What is going on?
  • What does it all mean?
  • Get missing information.
  • Create many solutions.
  • Focus it on action steps
  • Do it!

5 Communication

Words mean little, less than twenty percent.

Look them in the eyes, smile. Open hands, do not touch our bodies.

Talk slowly, leave spaces between words.

Use “because”, “imagine”. Avoid “still”, “not” and adjectives and adverbs.
Use stories, make fun of yourself, be humble.

Use the common ground and fight the common enemy. Use simple words avoiding buzzwords.

Join Toastmasters!

6 Leadership

The greatest leader of all time, Napoleon said:
  • Show the way and stay out of the way!
  • Let us unite on our cause.
  • Keep their bellies full. Meaning they must be physically comfortable.
  • See the positive first.
  • Hit the grumblers and cheaters
  • Play on emotion
  • One – on – one meeting: "How can I help you?"
  • Have a group myth.

7 In conclusion

Follow the rules of chess, you must move as postponement is bad.

Think before you move, think before you move and think before you move!
































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A prim is a leader, above all she and he will have an influence on so many that will always be part of their lives. To be a serving leade...